Here’s One for Mom and Dad
I recently watched a BuzzFeed video of several Asian American children discussing the sacrifices that their parents have made for them. Inspired by this video, I’ve decided to highlight a few things my parents have done for me that I really appreciate. Thanks for everything, Mom and Dad. You’re great! :)
Moving Me to the States
For as long as I can remember, my parents had always talked about moving to the States. They believed that the American public school system would provide a better education for my brother and I than the Taiwanese one. They wanted us to have a better shot at attending an American university. They wished for my brother and I to be competitive in the global job market.
Even though we didn’t move until 1998, they purchased a home in Bellevue, WA in 1989 as a first major step toward our eventual migration from Taiwan. I was only two years old at the time, and I have vague memories of them talking about this house: the hilly yard, the large basement, the possibility of having a dog, and the booming Seattle real estate market.
We finally moved into that Bellevue home nine years after they purchased it. Mom moved to Bellevue with my brother and I while Dad stayed in Taipei and kept his job as a professor at the National Taiwan University. This change was tough for my family because it meant that:
- We went from being a dual-income family to a single-income family because Mom left her job in Taipei. On top of that, three of the four of us were now living in Seattle, where the cost of living is significantly higher than Taipei.
- Mom left her career at her peak. When she quit her job in Taipei, she was the Chairwoman (a.k.a. “the boss”) at THI Consultants, a well-regarded transportation engineering consulting firm in Taipei.
- From 1998 to 2005, Mom and Dad were in a long distance relationship. They saw each other only a handful of times each year until Mom moved back to Taipei in 2005 when I started college.
I will always remember that cool summer night in 1998 when Dad left Bellevue to return to Taipei. I will always be grateful for the times when Mom went to school to have lunch or attend class with me because I was too terrified of sixth grade to be alone. And just like that, while Dad held down the fort in Taipei, Mom accompanied two teenage boys to a foreign country to give us new lives. Had they not done this, going abroad would have been far more challenging than it was for my brother and I.
Forcing Me to Play Piano
Okay, to be fair, I did ask them to sign me up for lessons first. They did not impose piano on me out of nowhere. But when my brother stopped playing, I lost all motivation to keep practicing. Sitting down and practicing songs I didn’t like for hours at a time simply seemed far too lonely and boring for the five-year-old Patrick (henceforth, “FYOP”). Thus began the fussy negotiation between my parents and I throughout elementary school. They typically went something like this:
FYOP: MOMMMM, I don’t WANT to practice piano!
Mom: You don’t have to practice if you don’t want to, but you made a deal with your dad, so you need to hold up your end of the bargain.
FYOP: But I don’t WANT to play piano! Jim quit already, so why do I have to keep playing?!
Mom: Why does Jim have to play in order for you to want to play?
FYOP: I JUST don’t WANT to play anymore! I want to QUIT!
Mom: Go take it up with your dad. Dad! Patrick says he doesn’t want to play piano anymore.
Dad: I thought we had a deal that I would give you $500 (NTD) if you kept playing?
FYOP: Grrr… but I don’t want to play… What if you give me an extra $300?
Dad: Hmmm… OK.
FYOP: *piano practicing commences*
Thank goodness they put up with my nonsense and persuaded me to keep playing, because the five-year-old Patrick never predicted that music would become the primary keeper of my sanity in my twenties. As I dabbled with more instruments throughout the years, my piano-playing started to evolve into something more. I decided that I want to be just like Hugh Grant in Music and Lyrics and be able to create songs from scratch. In 2013, I set up a recording studio in the third bedroom of my home, where I’ve spent countless hours creating music for fun throughout the last three years.
Taking Me to Spain
One of my biggest “aha!” moments so far happened on my trip to Spain in 2013. Dad was attending a conference in Barcelona, and Mom made plans to extend that work trip into a longer vacation. Knowing that it would be my first time in Europe, they invited me to join them: we would start in Barcelona, then head to Granada, Sevilla, and end in Madrid.
Spain is where I discovered a large part of myself. This “new” part of me has been quietly whispering in the background for years, and he suddenly found the courage to speak up and take a stance. Perhaps there was something about the stained glass at the Sagrada Familia, the gardens of the Generalife, or the Flamenco guitars in Sevilla — something magical happened to me in Spain.
Spain is where I found my wanderlust. It is where I stumbled upon the thirst to see all corners of the world, the hunger to try new exotic foods, and the curiosity to meet people from diverse backgrounds. Without this pivotal trip to Spain, I would definitely not be who I am today.
Supporting My Time Off
Last but not least, I want to thank my parents for being 100% supportive of my 2016 sabbatical project. I think it could be easy for them to pick on the absurdity of a 28-year-old taking a sabbatical year, but they’ve been generously accepting my decisions and giving me space to do my thing. On top of that, crashing with them in Taipei dramatically cuts my costs this year while abroad, so that’s nice, too.
I would like to end this post with a dare for all of you. Think about something your parents have done for you that you really appreciate. Tell them why it was meaningful to you and how it has helped shape who you are. Do it for Mother’s Day (yes, that’s today). It’ll be extra effective if your mom or dad has “words of affirmation” as his or her primary Love Language.
Don’t be a stranger,
— Patrick
